Resolve, 2020

“The present time has one advantage over any other–it is our own.”

– Charles Caleb Colton

I have a love-hate relationship with New Year’s resolutions. Admittedly, I’ve always been a list person. If I feel as though I’ve inadequately completed my to-do list, I’ll write something down that I’ve already done, solely for the satisfaction of crossing it out…to include bed making, dog poop scooping, and making my own lunch. I’ve had years of writing very thorough, specific, long-winded resolution lists—lofty, abundant goals full of promise that fling me into the new year with tornadic force. I’ve had years of throwing caution to the wind, sans resolutions, happy to have enough clean underwear to last me through the next week and considering that a monumental success. I can’t say with certainty which method was considered more “successful.” Occasionally, I fall back on my old friend Derek’s sage words: “Cami, it’s better to aim for the stars and miss than to aim for a pile of shit and hit it.” Sigh.

Where lies the balance? How can we harness the power of writing something down to make it meaningful and exciting while not berating ourselves if it doesn’t work out?  

This year, I decided to try something different. I’m outsourcing.

I’ve polled far and wide across this blue planet, with one simple query: What is YOUR resolution of impact in 2020?

I made a few simple rules. First, no personal goals that don’t really impact others in a positive way. I think it’s great that you’re out to beat your personal-best in the 5k–I really am in your corner on that (especially as a coach)–but that’s not what we’re talking about here. There’s no lycra involved, so take that tight-fitting stuff off and sit down…this one is not entirely about you. Which leads me to rule #2, which is that this goal, in some way, must positively impact another person. Third (and stay with me here, because this is really important!), I’m also not talking about something HUGE, such as a monetary or time donation that fills you with overwhelm. Nope. This one needs to put fire in your belly, fill you with STOKE, and comes with an altruistic, grateful heart—with no need for recognition or return on investment. It can be a one-time deal or an all-the-time deal, and it can be something you’re already doing.

Responses on this have been wonderfully candid, and I’m posting what I’ve got below. As is always the case with this project, I’m magically surprised by the responses, and as it turns out, a lot of people feel this same list-making tug-of-war. Here are a few things I’ve learned:

1. There are a few people who flat-out refuse to do resolutions, and their reasons are beautifully sound (they graciously humored me for the sake of this post). One in particular said that resolution is a constant process for him, and thus, he’s consistently evaluating and improving. This lesson is a brilliant reminder that any moment–any moment, people–we can make the decision to start anew, one small step at a time.
2. Many (I’d say over half) of the responses I received privately included doing LESS. Slowing down. Savoring more of this beautifully precious life. Resolution, therefore, became less about a future laden with ambition and more about a depth of thankfulness for what is, even if the “is” was something hard.
3. Some of the responses were knee deep in a desire for self-care (to include #2 above)…a reprieve with a little space and time to refill one’s cup. It’s a gentle reminder, especially emerging from the holidays, that we can all take something away from—that by providing what is needed for oneself, we are undoubtedly better equipped to serve the others in our lives…and those others will notice the difference.

I’d love for you to join us here in the comments…feel free to add your two cents—anything from spending a few more minutes reading to your kid before bed to one more ball toss to your dog to sitting down to dinner with a friend or family member, without your phone, one night per week. Perhaps it’s some much-needed self-care to be better present for those you love. Whatever it is, let it mean something to you, and then fire away.

Please enjoy the thoughts below…and even if you don’t respond with your own in the comments, I hope this gets the creative juices flowing for you. Wishing you a year of stoke, gratitude, kindness, #quietbadassery, and all the good stuff that matters.

My resolution for impact for 2020 is: Stay Curious. It’s easy to do the same things we’ve been doing and what feels comfortable but I want to continue to learn new things, take interest in others, and step outside my comfort zone.

– Claire, Germany

I am hoping in 2020 to connect more with a young former Marine who was on the El Paso Soldier Ride with me. Kid has a heart of gold but looks like he has struggled getting a steady path since leaving the Marines. I want to see what I can do for him in 2020 to make this the year that he feels solid ground under his feet.

– Kevin, TN

My 2020 resolution for impact is to say yes to my kids when they want me to do something with them–even if I’m busy, or tired, or when it’s outside of my comfort zone. For context, today was my day to teach art in my son’s class and it happened to be PJ day at his school. He wanted me to wear PJs, and even though I felt quite self-conscious, I said yes. Seeing the sheer joy that he got from this one little “yes” prompted this resolution. I try to do this already but I know I can do better, and maybe making a resolution will keep it a priority. They’re only little once and I want them to remember me being present and participating in their lives.

– Michelle, CA

I want to be more empathetic with my family. I’m pretty good with being patient and understanding with almost everyone EXCEPT my immediate family. Maybe it’s because I think so highly of them or I know they can handle what’s in front of them. But because of that, I’m quick to lose patience and it’s something I wish I could do better in 2020 and beyond.

– Charlie, Italy

First, I am taking an EMT class in January, so that I can “graduate” from driving the ambulance to riding in the back with the patients. All the emergency services here are volunteer and it is difficult to find enough people (particularly EMTs) to keep the ambulance in service 24/7. My second is to continue doing therapy dog visits with Winston [the service dog], particularly our weekly visits to the rehab/assisted living/hospice area of the VA. Winston loves the attention and I love seeing the smiles he brings to people…especially those old enough to remember Lassie and days when Collies were more popular than they are now.

– Cheryl, ID

To create and enable more positive and courageous action for those that struggle to do so.

– Mark, ID

I resolve to attempt the following—1) to wake up every morning with a prayer of thanks for something; and 2) that every time I have a critical/complaining thought, I immediately turn my mind toward gratefulness. In my opinion a primary source of kindness is a grateful heart and spirit.

– Tracy, FL

Ultimately, for 2020, I will continue the course (Semper Fidelis). Until my last breath, I will carry their memory and honor our fallen. It’s my obligation to pick up the large pack of gratitude and strive to empower those around me by my actions.

– Ryan, AZ

To continue helping manage a relative’s financial affairs during her illness.

 – Jim, NY

My resolution for change is to empower my college students even more and make each of them feel seen and known…and of course my daughters, too! the more I strengthen them the more they can strengthen others.

– Becky, AL

I want to help heal through the power of surf by getting more people comfortable in the water, and by publishing my first research articles about the power of surf and how it can heal.

– Shannon, CA

I want to build my 4 year old son’s understanding and respect for diversity. It’s a continuous thing, really, but I believe a foundation will certainly be important for later. Overall, the goal is I want my son to see the good in people with different ethnic or social backgrounds and understand that’s one of the greatest things we have as a country. I want him to learn and respect people’s differences and see how that is a benefit in life, for all. My daughter will be next. She’s already mimicking her older brother so I’m putting in lots of work now, because he will be the example.

– Marc, WA

One of my Impacts/Intentions for 2020 is to not push myself when it comes to the “BIG” things. To allow myself more grace to simply do the littlest of things; like working on washing my face every night, or developing a routine that fuels me and replenishes me. I’ve put a lot of “goals” and “intentions” on myself over the years…. and lately I’ve tried actually backing away from that mentality. To actually become more ok with not always reaching for the next level of whatever…to work on things that I might have skipped over because I was too focused on what I deemed as more worthy to reach the next destination or achievement. For me, my impact will be to slow it down and step back, however that looks. And maybe, just maybe, with this slow down I’ll be able to be more present with others… to hold space in a deeper more poignant way for those that need it (and the person that needs it most might even be myself). Maybe the weight of having loose ends will lighten and I’ll realize I’m doing enough. A slower impact is what’s in store for me.

– Kyra, WA

I am going to be an official volunteer for the Tokyo 2020 Olympics & Paralympics and hope to ensure that the athletes have a memorable experience and can enjoy Japanese culture and hospitality.

– Sharon, Japan

I intend to do a better job keeping in touch my friends. Whether it’s by phone, text, email, message, or snail mail, taking a little bit of time to let someone know I am thinking about them is the goal.  

– Heidi, NE

Spending time each day to practice mindfulness and take care of ourselves so we can continue to give back and be more present for each other, our friends, and our coworkers.

– Carrie and Steve, Washington, DC

Almost 2 years ago, I started working part time at our local community college. I’ve become particularly passionate about teaching a specific group of students: those trying to earn their GEDs. They all have fascinating stories and reasons for going back to school. However, I’ve found that very few ultimately earn their GEDs. I am determined to continue studying (through a doctoral dissertation) these students and figure out how to solve this problem of adult students who start but never finish earning their high school credentials.

– Andrea, TX

Thank you again for stopping by and pausing. Wishing you all a warm, kind, impactful 2020. Again, if you’d like to post your resolution for impact, please do so in the comments below. I look forward to cheering in your corner.