I had a plan for the blog this week—I promise. But then, I realized that I’m steering the ship…which means I am occasionally authorized to take delightful little detours. I’m also reminded that it’s my birthday month, which means…I do what I want.
In very recent years, I’ve realized the absolute imperative nature of self-compassion and self-love. Much like any type of love, it’s not perfect, but if it’s solid, it enables us to recognize and fully come into our gifts. In the long run, it allows us to unabashedly contribute our gifts to the world.
Self-love is hard. It requires surrender. It requires acknowledgement of our failures, and our shortcomings, and our regrets…without ruminating in them forever. It gives us permission to learn the damn lessons and move on. In doing so, we give that permission to others. We see those gifts in others more freely because we’re not as busy berating ourselves. I’d also bet we’re less judgmental and more willing to forgive.
With each passing year, I recognize time’s preciousness. I Love every birthday around the sun, every time. Because with each additional wrinkle comes so many other gifts—and it’s my hope that I can pass this idea of self-love (and its importance) on as a birthday gift to you. Life is simply too short and too precious for anything else, sweet friend.
Thus, here’s this week’s post—an unattributed poem. Some attribute it to Charlie Chaplin (who, hey, exhibited #quietbadassery in his own right—see what I did there?!), but it seems it is a translation from English to Portuguese to English again. Regardless, many thanks to the author, who has said it below more eloquently than I ever could.
As I began to love myself
I found that anguish and emotional suffering
are only warning signs that I was living
against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is Authenticity.
As I began to love myself
I understood how much it can offend somebody
if I try to force my desires on this person,
even though I knew the time was not right
and the person was not ready for it,
and even though this person was me.
Today I call this Respect.
As I began to love myself
I stopped craving for a different life,
and I could see that everything
that surrounded me
was inviting me to grow.
Today I call this Maturity.
As I began to love myself
I understood that at any circumstance,
I am in the right place at the right time,
and everything happens at the exactly right moment.
So I could be calm.
Today I call this Self-Confidence.
As I began to love myself
I quit stealing my own time,
and I stopped designing huge projects
for the future.
Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness,
things I love to do and that make my heart cheer,
and I do them in my own way
and in my own rhythm.
Today I call this Simplicity.
As I began to love myself
I freed myself of anything
that is no good for my health –
food, people, things, situations,
and everything that drew me down
and away from myself.
At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.
Today I know it is Love of Oneself.
As I began to love myself
I quit trying to always be right,
and ever since
I was wrong less of the time.
Today I discovered that is Modesty.
As I began to love myself
I refused to go on living in the past
and worrying about the future.
Now, I only live for the moment,
where everything is happening.
Today I live each day,
day by day,
and I call it Fulfillment.
As I began to love myself
I recognized
that my mind can disturb me
and it can make me sick.
But as I connected it to my heart,
my mind became a valuable ally.
Today I call this connection Wisdom of the Heart.
We no longer need to fear arguments,
confrontations or any kind of problems
with ourselves or others.
Even stars collide,
and out of their crashing, new worlds are born.
Today I know: This is Life!
Thank you for being here. Thank you for pausing. And if you’re in the process of realizing your gifts, I can’t wait to see them come to fruition in this world. If you’re already there, shining your bright light—thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being brave.
Xo,
Cami
PS – I’d love to know what gift(s) YOU are bringing into the world. If you know yours (or what quality of yourself you’d love to share with the world), please head on over to the comments and share it with us so we can celebrate it with you!
This is so awesome. Thank you for sharing. I needed this
Absolutely love this ❤
I’m so glad, Andrea. xo
I love off-roading and getting dirty!
So in my moment to pause, I enjoyed the words,
“As I began to love myself
I quit trying to always be right,
and ever since
I was wrong less of the time.”
Carrying on from there, I would say, when we learn to love ourselves, we can really get honest about our feelings for others, to share our love with the understanding that our worth is not measured in how or if someone loves us back, to be willing to give while needing nothing in return. I am reminded of what Jewel sings,
“If you love somebody
You better let it out
Don’t hold it back
While you’re trying to figure it out
Don’t be timid
Don’t be afraid to hurt
Run toward the flame
Run toward the fire
And hold on for all your worth
‘Cause the only real pain a heart can ever know
Is the sorrow of regret
When you don’t let your feelings show
So did you say it?
Did you mean it?
Did you lay it on the line?
Did you make it count?
Did you look ’em in the eye?
And did they feel it?
Did you say it in time?
Did you say it out loud?”
So what is my gift? Enthusiasm, often disproportionate enthusiasm…possibly while running towards fire.
“our worth is not measured in how or if someone loves us back, to be willing to give while needing nothing in return.” That right there. Thanks, Cindi!
I would have to say that a gift that has been demonstrated for me, and that I have tried to adopt, is what my friend calls: showing up. Showing up is extending yourself and giving support without judgment or expectation of anything in return. It’s the ability of seeing what someone needs instead of saying, “Just let me know if you need anything.” It’s a gesture, or action, that says, “I’m here for you, and I support you.” Thank you to Mom, Lara, Sarah and Julee who are especially talented at showing up for me.
You make a beautiful point here–thank you so much for your thoughtful response, Lisa. I’m especially touched by both your identification of this lovely gift and acknowledgment of where it was first seen. Thank you!!!
I’m not quite sure of any of my gifts just yet, but I feel hopeful that they will soon emerge and reveal themselves. Ive always felt wise beyond my years and as if I was born in the wrong era😭and I’ve always felt different in an unexplainable way, and I’m finally at a place where I’m no longer trying to fight that or fit in, I just wanna figure out what it’s all about and what I’ve been put here to do for the world. Cami you are truly inspiring and you rock my soul in a way that I’ve never felt before. I thank you for being you and always lighting the way for others, myself specifically. You’ve lifted me up since the day I met you and I love you for that💛
I feel the same way, Ayzia, and I’m so glad we met on this journey. I do know that from where I’m standing, that you’re incredibly attentive and observant of all that is going on around you–thoughtfully processing and reflecting. I’m already grateful for those gifts as I see them :).
This is so beautiful Cami – thanks for sharing. I feel like learning self-love has been a hard journey for me – reading this gave me the little boost I needed today 😊 thanks for being you, my friend!
Thank you so much for stopping by, Jenn. I think it’s a hard lesson for a lot of us, so I really appreciate you sharing.