Electronic Bumper Stickers

Many months ago, we were at a stoplight behind a minivan. Upon further inspection, there were two very specific bumper stickers on the vehicle regarding the driver’s child. While I can’t recall the exact verbiage, it went something like this:

“If you pull me over: My child has autism and epilepsy. There may be significant movement and noise in my vehicle.”

There was a mention of reaction to noise and flashing lights, too. I have no doubt that this mama put the sticker on her car both to protect her child and to diffuse alarm from an unsuspecting police officer or tow truck driver.

The entire way home, we talked about the driver. Not knowing a single thing about her beyond the sticker’s concise list, we lamented about how differently we thought about the car in front of us with that information…and then speculated about how differently we’d treat others who adhered something similar to his/her metaphorical “bumper.” I daydream-invented an electronic bumper sticker that could be changed daily…perhaps giving a bit of a wider berth to those who need it on the days they need it most.   

Some thoughts on what I’d hypothetically read:

“Should not have eaten that for lunch. I’m just trying to make it to the next exit and the bathroom.”

“I’ve had a shit day. Please, just, be kind.”

“I bought my 5-year-old a drum set for his birthday. Nope, I don’t know what I was thinking either, except that the sound of the drum might be quieter than him asking for one every day. Anyway, this is the only quiet moment I’ll have all day, sitting in traffic next to you. So please, please don’t honk or flip me off.”

“I’m going through a divorce. I’m getting my crying out now so I can pretend to be normal as I head into work.”

And since we’re not driving anywhere right now…a few imaginary non-driving bumper stickers of the moment:

“It’s not about you.”

“Elastic. Band. Pants. Grateful.”

“I just ate a sleeve of oreos for breakfast.”

“I may need a few additional quarantine days, thanks in large part to self-trimmed eyebrows.”

“Meh.” [mine, yesterday]

“Nope, still not good at playing the guitar.”

“I have an arbitrary goal that was pre-set on my fitness watch. Not curious why or how it was set…I just keep walking until I reach said arbitrary goal.”

As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, I’ve been contemplating what I’ll take out of this. What I’ll add to my life. What I’ll take away. When you’re coming up for air during this time, my guess is that you’re considering the same.  One of those considerations is kindness, specifically, a hard look at empathy. While we don’t have the bandwidth (nor the inclination) to share everything about ourselves, or know the particulars of a stranger on the highway, we can at least make the acknowledgment that they, too, are in their own journey…and to assume that journey has not always been easy. They may be grieving, or they may be celebrating, or they may be in a different season than ourselves. The simple gesture of pausing, being a little easier with someone, or seeking to understand on this busy, altogether too fast highway of life could be the one small gesture that helps a driver when her low fuel light comes on.

Thank you, sweet mama in your minivan, for reminding me that the package on the outside doesn’t always show what is on the inside. I’ll be at or below the speed limit for the foreseeable future.