Square Wheel Day

Happy Earth Day, friends. Raising a glass in honor of this big, blue, beautiful planet we have the privilege of inhabiting.

The last couple of days have been rough. I’m having what my friend and former training partner Mike used to call a “Square Wheel” cycling day. Square Wheel days come for several reasons…some of which are legitimate, understandable Square Wheel moments. You’re riding in a headwind (a staple of Colorado road riding), but it’s subtle enough that you don’t realize it, only to turn around and realize what a delightful situation the second half of your ride will be (note that the inverse is also true). You have a slow leak in your tire or forgot to check your tire pressure. You have a brake rubbing, only to realize there’s been a metaphorical 50lb weight on your back wheel.

There are, though, those other days…where you might think you have one of the aforementioned problems, only to recognize that, indeed, it’s the engine causing the problem. And that’s where I’ve found myself in the past two days—out of gas and unable to be at what I’d consider a reasonably productive level for the day.

My friend Mark posted an article this week that says it better than I ever could. And hey, he’s a mental performance coach for the Nationals, so that doesn’t hurt, either. Take a look, here.

There were a few takeaways from the article that are particularly helpful on a Square Wheel Day. First, taking an honest acceptance and appreciation of where you are, in this moment. For me, this is a biggie…acknowledging that today, I am where I am. This isn’t a pass. It’s an exercise in self-compassion. Taking this step allows me to take the smaller steps available in this time and this moment (versus doing nothing and berating myself). Often, I find myself either more productive or more deeply fulfilled in what I’m doing when I take this approach, better appreciating the journey rather than focusing on a lack of destination.

When I work with endurance athletes, I’m pretty honest with them about this initial step. Our bodies don’t always differentiate between physical stress or mental stress, and there can be a latent fatigue associated with either. Sometimes, we need a recovery day because we’re mentally beat. That small reduction in a workout or swapping it for a more restorative activity is sometimes the difference between illness and injury and a healthy, enthusiastic athlete. It’s not a pass—it’s wisdom and awareness.

Second (also a big one for me)…not overscheduling/overliving. Rather than counting experiences, making experiences count. I’ve taken huge strides personally to say no more often. I’m a people pleaser who HATES confrontation, so for me, this has been a huge step. The byproduct has been how much I enjoy saying YES. I am more deeply present in whatever activities I’ve agreed to, and the experiences are much richer than anticipated. For me, this has been a journey, but if you haven’t yet dipped your toe in the water of taking inventory of what you can surrender upon returning to newer normal, it might be worth exploring. I say all of this with a heart full of love for those who are completely strapped right now with kids, work, cooking, and cleaning—please know this is a judgment-free zone and solely food for thought. But as we contemplate what we’ll take away from this, perhaps ponder the identity and value we culturally place on being busy, touting it as a trophy proclamation…as part of a societal identity. And if it’s really necessary.

That’s all I’ve got for today. Treading lightly (and a little slower than normal), and looking forward to reconnecting with you next week, when I’ll have a little more to give and some beautiful thoughts via a reader-submitted story. Thanks for stopping by.

Xo,

Cami

PS—If you have anything you’d like to share—what you’ll take forward, what small acts of self-compassion you’re implementing, or anything else—I’d love to hear about them as we give others permission to do the same. Thank you!